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Overcoming fussy eating and making mealtimes fun

Updated 14 November 2024

Child development

Up to half of the two-year-olds in Australia are fussy eaters. So if mealtimes are big-deal times in your family, you’re certainly not alone. The good news is that there are easy ways to make food fun for fussy eaters.

Goodstart Early Learning has teamed up with Flinders University to give parents some quick tips to take the stress out of family mealtimes. 

We all know that a balanced diet and healthy food habits not only keeps us well, but also makes eating interesting! Encouraging children to eat a variety of nutritional foods is an important part of their development, and can be made easier with a few simple techniques.

From playing with food to building routines, using positive language and leading by example… families can all be part of helping fussy eaters try new foods. Taking it one step at a time and persevering is key. It can take up to 15 positive experiences for a child to accept a new food! 

Goodstart Early Learning National Manager - Speech Pathology, Tiffany Noble say the journey of picky eating and problem feeding is one that many families face on a daily basis.


What is fussy eating? 

“Fussy eaters are children who reject large quantities of both familiar and unfamiliar foods which results in a habitual diet characterised by the consumption of a low variety of food” (Levene & Williams, 2018).

What is the evidence-base behind fussy eating?

Establishing healthy eating habits in childhood promotes a child’s exposure to a variety of nutritional foods, and reduce later risk of obesity.

Ms Noble says “As a child experiences success in this learning, they can become more confident in exploring other new foods. Also, from a mechanical perspective, children are developing their oro-motor (mouth muscles) skills in terms of the strength of muscles and how co-ordinated their movements are. These skills are important for children to be able to hold foods in their mouth, chew and swallow them successfully.”

As time goes on, children start to take more risks with food flavours, textures, types and temperatures, as well as with the environments they eat in and with the different people offering food.

What is the root cause behind the fussy eating?

It’s important to remember that eating is only instinctual in the first month of life, after that it becomes a learned behaviour. If you have a child that is a fussy eater then it’s important to explore their physical and sensory relationship with food as well as their ability to manage food when they do eat.

Why are some children ‘fussy eaters’?

There are various reasons why children may be selective about their food intake:

  • Sensory sensitivity (e.g. Autism Spectrum Disorder)
  • Learnt aversions due to negative feeding experiences (e.g. choking or reflux) 
  • Anxiety associated with food allergies

Take a negative feeding experience, for example. Johnny used to love spaghetti bolognaise but one night he stopped and would no longer eat it. On this night, Grandma was looking after Johnny and served spaghetti which was too hot and burnt the roof of his mouth. Because Johnny was only two years old, he couldn’t easily communicate what had happened nor did he understand entirely, he just knew that the spaghetti ‘hurt’ him. His response to avoid this ‘hurt’ was to stop eating or become very selective. Grandma said he couldn’t have any ice cream because he didn’t eat his spaghetti.

In this example, Johnny lost his trust in the food. He didn’t understand that the food can be cooled down and Grandma didn’t know what was wrong. This was not anybody’s fault, but an example of how quickly trust and communication regarding eating can break down.

Children who don’t have the communication skills to easily say what is happening for them, need adults to interpret what might be happening for them and to support their reasoning.


How can I tell if my child is a fussy eater? 

A fussy eater’s diet may look like

  • Limited dietary variety 
  • Lower intake of fruits & vegetables 
  • Lower intake of meats & fish 
  • Lower intake of vitamins & minerals 
  • Higher intakes of savoury snacks/sweets 
  • Higher energy intake from sugary drinks

What are the characteristics of a fussy eater? 

  • Unwillingness to eat familiar foods 
  • Unwillingness to try new foods 
  • Strong food preferences Sensitivity to food textures, aromas & colours 
  • May dislike their foods mixed or touching 
  • Lengthy meal times 
  • Distracted during meal times


How can I help my child to incorporate new foods into their diet? 

Ms Noble says we can reduce anxiety around food by simply talking about it, describing the process and labelling what is happening for children during a mealtime. 

The overall goal of supporting children who experience difficulty eating is to create a situation which positively reinforces normal, healthy eating patterns. The following tips can help:

Repetition

The more you can make about the meal the same, the more predictable it becomes and the easier it is to learn. For example, are meals:

  • Eaten in the same room?
  • At the same table?
  • Using the same utensils?

Role modelling

Adults are very important role models and can support children to understand what to do with food. For example:

  • Over-emphasize chewing to show the way our mouths move to manage food.
  • Exaggerate the swallowing process to make the ‘hidden parts’ of eating more visible.
  • Describe the food moving down to the stomach to explain the whole process to develop understanding.

Positive reinforcement

We need to ensure ANY interaction with food is reinforced, as this interaction is the child learning about the food. New foods need to be presented repeatedly in small amounts that are not daunting with positive reinforcement for any interactions with the new food. The interaction might mean the child is:

  • Looking at the food
  • Smelling the food
  • Touching the food
  • Putting the food in their mouth etc.

Make the food less "new" by first introducing it to the child on the table only

Strategies for introducing new foods

  • Select one new food at a time. Start with a food that is like an accepted food, e.g. an apple and a pear! 
  • Gradually introducing new appearances, flavours, and textures increases your child’s confidence to try out new foods before moving to more challenging foods! 
  • Encourage exploration of appearance, texture and smell! 
  • Playing with food is encouraged to reduce anxiety in children and create a positive mealtime environment.
  • Eat new foods with your children and make mealtimes sociable! Children feel more willing to try new foods if they’re parents are eating and enjoying it too!
  • Don’t give up – continue to present your child with foods they dislike! It may take a child up to 15 positive experiences to accept a new food! 
  • Create a predictable mealtime routine! Try things like eating together at the table regularly, reducing distractions and background noise, and involving your child in setting the table and packing away. This aims to build routine!

Positive language for positive mealtimes

Try to avoid using language that punishes or puts pressure on your child to eat. Instead, you could: 

  • Use positive language such as, “You are learning to like this food!” or “Maybe you will like this food tomorrow!” 
  • Use child-focused language: “Eating your beans can give you lots of energy for playing!” 
  • Narrate your child’s actions: “I can see you are looking at the carrots” or “You’re licking the potato!

Who can I go to for more help?

If your child is experiencing symptoms of fussy eating or problem feeding we encourage you to seek professional support. We recommend accessing Occupational Therapy, Speech Pathology, Psychology or Dietetics advice from those trained in the Sequential Oral Sensory (S.O.S) approach to feeding development. Your GP may be able to support a referral or provide recommendations of the different services available in your local area.


For some top tips on taking the fret out of food, see our Fussy Eating and Making Mealtimes Fun guide.

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